TV Review: “Jersey Shore”

By Matt Liasse

The MTV television show “Jersey Shore” displays everything that is wrong with the generation of today’s college-aged students.

It’s one thing to show pride in your Italian heritage (that some of the cast members don’t seem to have). I have no problem with fake tanning and can even get on board with going out every night with people that seem to have as much of a drinking problem as Lindsay Lohan.

But the most annoying, and what seems to be most popular, aspect of this show is the fact that all of the cast members are so negative and mind-numbingly stupid it’s ridiculous.

The show’s second season premiered with huge numbers. Over five million people watched, making it the biggest season premiere MTV has seen in seven years.

And what did we learn from this week’s installment?

Number one: When in a hot tub, magical things happen.

Number two: When already stressed or frustrated, alcohol only multiplies that emotion.

Number three: Getting into an argument in a taxi on the way to a club is not practical.

Number four: Faking a Jersey accent is really unattractive.

Barely anything happened during the premiere. We watched the cast unpack and drink. I can do that myself on move-in weekend in a couple weeks. I usually expect a little more brain on my television set.

There were a number of times when I literally cringed at the show.

While getting ready for a night of partying, I watched in confusion when “the Situation” asked a roommate if it was the first time he was wearing a shirt. When the answer was yes, with a high-five, he said, “It’s going to be the last time, too.” I didn’t know it was common for people to only wear clothes once. I usually buy shirts for multiple uses, but that’s just me.

And when the guys of the show referred to women at a club as “grenades” and “land mines,” it was so disrespectful that it made me want to take a bomb to the whole show.

The ladies of the show (classy as they are in skin-tight dresses showing plenty of leg and cleavage) were the worst.

During a taxi ride to a club, “Snooki” yelled at Angelina that she was disgusting because she was pale. In a counterattack, Angelina yelled that “Snooki” was too tan. I thought, as a country, that we were past arguing over skin color. I thought hopefully with our president things would change. Apparently not in Jersey.

This show holds no stimulating impact. Naming it anything other than a guilty pleasure would be ridiculous. But even for fun viewing, this show showcases all the shallow beliefs of conceited people. “Jersey Shore” should pack up its wife-beaters and hair gels and carry on its merry way.

Hopefully the people watching this show realize that even though the cast is making plenty of money now, they will just be table bussing recovering alcoholics in five years time.

The viewing of this show had me crying out, “Where, oh where have the smart people gone?”

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