URGENT: looking for a few extra people who want to join a party bus this weekend, reply ASAP if interested. This is the hottest ride to the 2015 Game—seats are LIMITED!!

Think that people only organize private buses when the game’s in Cambridge? Think again, you square, because I booked a bus for me and 25 of my closest friends back in July. On our way to the Yale Bowl, we’ll eat dozens of miniature cupcakes, forge friendships that will last a lifetime, and maybe even squeeze in a thrilling, perilous game of Jenga. The only thing that’s missing: YOU. And once 24 more people sign up, this bus will be full…act now, and reserve your seat today!!!

Don’t be one of the lemmings boarding a big yellow bus outside of Payne Whitney on Saturday morning. On the party bus (note: experimenting with the name Magic Spool Bus, in reference to everyone on the bus’s collective love of yarn), we’ll listen to a nonstop loop of Dexys Midnight Runners’ “Come On Eileen.” Also, as a fun activity, everyone on the bus will pledge (in writing) to be my friend and invite me to more stuff. Do NOT miss this chance to have an action-packed ride to the game!

Sure, some people might say stuff like “why would you put down a payment on a party bus when there’s free transportation,” or “‘Magic Spool Bus’ is stupid,” or “you don’t have enough friends to fill a bus, Lea.” But DO NOT let these negative words stop you from signing up for the ride of your life. To claim your comfortable pleather seat, be outside Phelps Gate at 7 am sharp on Saturday morning. I’ll bring the miniature cupcakes, you bring the friendship.

Your Bulldog Days Host

It was the first time I’d seen her since April, we’d spent about 25 minutes together in the 36 hours that I stayed with her, and she mercifully did not turn around as she waited to purchase 8 oranges and Hot Pocket. Note: my ability to greet people like an adult is still very much in process.

Someone with nothing in his hands

He either buys 4 packs of gum or he’s about to hold up the line with an order of tenders. Spoiler: it’s always tenders. Plot twist: he’s gonna be indecisive about which sauce he wants. Upshot: your wait time is about to double.

A Mullet

There’s a lot to be scared of here, and the danger zone that separates Business in the Front from Party in the Back is just too ambiguous from behind.

Peter Salovey

Scary in that you will confront the fact that even President Salovey needs to eat, leading you to consider the mortality of institutional figureheads, causing you to wonder about your own ineptitude to resist the cyclical nature of life, and, at the inevitable moment that you accept that we are all just animals born from and destined for dust and obscurity, you’ll realize that you’re still in line at Durfee’s next to a rack of Chile Limón Cheetos.

The Ghost of Eli Whitney

Scary cause he’s a ghost but also a 100% chance of finally making the Yale Campus Snapstory so, yeah, it’s a tradeoff.

Any Human Ever

The only thing to fear but fear itself is people everywhere all of the time because social interactions are hard. And I’m facing my fears every. damn. day.

That kid who bought all 9 of the creepy hard boiled eggs in a tupperware at once

WHO ARE YOU?? I saw this happen and did a little look ‘round to see if anyone else was freaking out about the probable serial killer in our midst. Nobody was.

Lately, I’ve been wondering: should I be more involved? And with what should I involve myself? Luckily, every student organization that receives YCC funding must be registered with the Undergraduate Organizations Committee, which then lists all these great potential involvements in an online directory. Based on some preliminary research, here’s what I’ll be involved with sometime soon:

Bulldogs Racing:

Usually dog racing is NOT OK by me, but I’m thinking that this is more of an Air Bud situation, where the club finds a hapless bulldog and trains him up for the big cross-country championship. Maybe he’s a literal underdog—runt of the litter, a little too slobbery to be cute, Handsome Dan’s slightly less Handsome younger brother. In any case, he’s got heart, and he’s about to show those stuck-up humans who’s really “top dog.” End trailer, cut to montage of bulldogs dunking basketballs.

The Secret Jane Austen Society:

I’ve always wanted to be in on a secret, and this seems like a good way to make that dream a reality. But like also don’t tell anyone about this guys. Seriously, it’s a secret.

Yale STEAM

Steam’s never gotten the credit it deserves, but this advocacy group is putting an end to that. Sinus congestion and shirt wrinkles, beware! Steam can eliminate you in seconds.

Yale Poker Club and Yale Undergraduate Poker Club

These are two separately registered groups, and I have to imagine that there’s a bitter rivalry between them. If not, there’s an opportunity to turn them against each other. I’d like to be a part of that opportunity.

Beverages and Technology

If this is a real group that receives funding to drink and play video games, then it has officially won the Directory of Registered Student Organizations. Well played, B&T. Well played.

Tailoring, macrame, lumberjack-chic, taffeta — many words that I’ve heard on Project Runway could describe this fall’s latest trend. The dress is so NOW. The silhouette is having a moment. The neckless look is in. Make no mistake, this is a Statement look. That statement: “Do remember the bergamot-satsuma face mist, Maurice.”

Lately, it seems that the new style’s ready to overtake Canada Geese and consulting interview name tags as the new “it” status symbol to wear around campus. Now, you decide: who wore it better?

A classic, accessible interpretation of the popular look – Irving S. Gilmore Music Library

Fashion divides us into two groups: risk-takers and everyone else. This girl’s the former. Follow her lead, not his. – Steinbach Hall

The party girl pairs a simple silhouette with tougher accessories for an edgy, “I’m here to be SEEN” look – Toad’s Basement

The answer is YES, this trend can be done in black. Follow this girl’s example, and complement your LBD with fall’s hottest accessory: a clear indication of your gender identity – Watson Center

Caught in the stacks with a man on her arm! As this girls knows, a social butterfly always studies in style – Sterling Memorial Libarary Bookstacks, Floor 3M

If you’re unsure if you should pull off the trend, pause. Reflect. Ask yourself: “Would this look good on me in a selfie with Shia LaBeouf?” Trust your answer.

I want to eat Smart Start at lunch.

Please, help if you can.

The license plate: a conventional, necessary piece of metal affixed to your bumper… Right? Wrong! Boring! It’s been done.

This past weekend, a 25-year-old resident of Springfield, Massachusetts was pulled over by a state trooper on I-391 when he noticed that something was amiss with her license plate. What the trooper would soon find was that, in keeping with the present DIY vogue, Johanna Baez-Rodriguez had made her own license plate out of cardboard, colored pencils, and a can-do crafty attitude.

It’s only natural that, in the Pinterest-fueled trend of doing everything from reupholstering your own ottoman to constructing your own mustache trimmers, this industrious DIY-er would no longer be satisfied going through “legal processes” in order to have a “registered vehicle.” Indeed, homemade legal documents of all kinds are quickly becoming a national sensation.

There’s no need to shell out money for a fake ID when, following a few simple steps at home, you can make your own out of an old receipt, electrical tape, a woolen sock, chia seeds, and a whole lot of rhinestones!

What I admire most about Ms. Baez-Rodrigues, however, is not her artistry or disregard for the law, though both are commendable. J.B.R.’s real virtue is in being true to herself. Maybe her bubble lettering’s not perfect. Maybe she chose a material that disintegrates into pulp when exposed to the elements. J.B.R. couldn’t care less – lamination is for suckers. In the words that she so patriotically inscribed with Crayola onto the bottom of her cardboard canvas, Johanna Baez-Rodrigues truly epitomizes “The spirit of America.” J.B.R., and other DIY renegades like her, are going to craft their legal documents whether you or Massachusetts State Trooper Matthew Guarino like it or not. Because this is America, dammit.