By Danielle Walczak and Cameron Paquette
As Roxy and Davey Easler stood facing a crowd on the University of Maine mall Sunday afternoon, they were surrounded by support. Several people joined the Easlers on stage, representing those who have been impacted by the loss of a parent, a sibling, a husband and a family member, along with a survivor. The Easlers were representing their son, Jonathan, who died by suicide in April 2007.
On Oct. 5, the support the Easlers received at the sixth annual Out of the Darkness Community Walk, advocating suicide prevention, was a feeling they wish their son could have felt before he graduated college and took his own life in April 2007.
“I hope this event can give someone the courage to get the medical help they need to save their life. We need to bring awareness to mental illness. If we had cancer we’d go to get help,” said Roxy Easler, of Corinth.
Jonathan had been receiving help for depression through therapy and medication since the 10th grade. In the summer before his third year of college, Jonathan sent a note to his parents in an attempted suicide:
“I’m sorry, but I have to leave you now.”
Two years later he took his life.
According to the Suicide Prevention Resource Center, 15 percent of graduate students and 18 percent of undergraduate students have seriously considered suicide in their lifetimes.
On a campus of approximately 12,000 students, that means 2,160 UMaine students could be dealing with depression on an unbearable level, a level that leaves no options for them but to end their own lives.
According to Kelly Shaw, a member of the UMaine Counseling Center and the Out of the Darkness event organizer, the stigmatism around suicide is what stops students from getting the help they may need.
“It’s a shameful secret for many people, which pushes them down and prevents them from getting help and the support they need,” Shaw said.
According to Roxy Easler, when her son died by suicide she said, “It was like people thought they were going to catch a bad disease from you.”
For Shaw, one of the ways to reduce the discomfort around suicide is to name it. She uses the “died by suicide” rather than “committed suicide.”
“‘Commit’ has many negative connotations. It eliminates people’s perception of being shamed by suicide,” she said. “Stigma is the main thing keeping people from getting the help they need, which keeps the problem going. It is important to support friends and loved ones so they feel valued.”
According to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, one person dies by suicide every 13 minutes throughout the nation.
These statistics, along with the ways in which they can be reversed, are the impetus behind the creation of the annual Out of the Darkness Community Walk.
A national event, Out of the Darkness was co-sponsored by the UMaine Division of Student Life and St. Joseph’s Health Care. The event began with an opening ceremony, with a performance by UMaine a capella group Renaissance and an address from congressional candidate Sen. Emily Cain.
When Cain attended the University, one of her friends in the University Singers took her own life. The event spurred Cain to attend and speak at every Out of the Darkness Community Walk since its inception in Orono.
“It takes us not being afraid to talk about suicide, not being afraid to be there to listen. That’s what this event is about, that’s why I’m so humbled to be a part of it for so many years in a row now. To raise awareness of this issue that no one is immune from. We have the tools because we have one another to take on suicide in our community,” Cain said.
According to Shaw, there are late warning signs such as intense isolation, giving away possessions, vague goodbyes on social media, depression, feelings of helplessness and not seeing a future, which indicate the person may be at imminent risk of suicide.
Calling the University of Maine Police Department is the first step to take if you think the person is at immediate risk. Shaw said to ask the person directly, saying “I’m concerned; are you thinking about suicide?” According to Shaw, naming suicide can be a relief.
There are also many campus resources — such as the UMaine Counseling Center — for people struggling with thoughts of suicide or people trying to help them. Relationship training programs, faculty training programs and the student group Active Minds are offered as additional resources.
Active Minds is a student group that meets weekly to help spread awareness about mental illness.
For Russell Fascione, co-president of Active Minds, the importance is in “the willingness of students to learn how they can help others, not be a bystander and get the knowledge to help others.”
For Lois Holmes, whose husband took his own life after a six-year battle with three different types of cancer, the walk is a way that she can give and receive support with people who have experienced similar tragedies.
“We can hurt together, share together and smile together and work so others feel like this is something they don’t have to do [alone],” Holmes said.
One simple way to achieve this feeling of community is just saying hello to a stranger.
“Sometimes just looking up from our cell phones, texting on campus and saying ‘good morning’ could mean the world to someone. […] That’s just what makes the world better,” Holmes said.
For more information on suicide prevention, or to schedule a counseling session, the Counseling Center is open on campus at the Cutler Health Center from 8 a.m. to 4:30 p.m., Monday through Friday and can be reached at 207-581-1392. Sessions are free to UMaine students.
For Student Life relationship training programs contact Janice Grant on FirstClass. Active Minds, student group meets Thursdays at 5 p.m. in the Senior Skulls room on the third floor of the Memorial Union.